We've all said it or done it and survived it - embarrassing moments when we accidentally said or did something silly and everyone cracked up.

On the flip side, haven't we all exploded with laughter, even when we tried not to, when we witnessed someone else's embarrassing moment?

It doesn't feel funny when someone laughs at our goof-ups. And we feel bad when we bust up laughing at someone who looks foolish or says something stupid.

Laughter is a powerful emotion that contains the potential to help or harm. Understanding "why we laugh" minimizes the hurt feelings caused by our misinterpretations of laughter.

Examine the three main humor theories and it's easy to see why embarrassing moments provide the perfect catalyst for stimulating robust laughter.

Theory of Incongruity - when things don't match up or make sense - we expect one thing to happen and something entirely opposite or unexpected happens - surprise or shock trickle into laughter.

Theory of Superiority - knee-jerk automatic reaction to laugh when we experience someone doing or saying something that we interpret to be stupid or look funny - can't hold our laughter back, even when someone gets hurt.

Theory of Release - spontaneous laughter in a tense moment, often occurs when we feel uncomfortable because we don't know how to respond or when faced with very emotional issues such as grief, or fear - seems like an inappropriate time to laugh, and we feel surprised when we do.

Now you know. The next time someone laughs at your mishap you will be less likely to take their laughter personally. And you can avoid offending someone with your laughter by telling why you were laughing - they surprised you, it looked funny, or it was a tense moment and you didn't mean to laugh.

Next month: Find out how to turn those embarrassing moments around and make a lasting impression that works to your advantage.

Permission granted to post this humor tip on your web site, insert into your newsletter, or hang on your bulletin board by including: Provided by Lois McElravy, Lessons from Lois, www.lessonsfromlois.com